I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
