dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
you win again, gameday.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
