Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
