When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
