I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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