I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
