So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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