yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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