Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I have fence marks all over my body
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
