I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
