based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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