you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
