There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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