bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Never underestimate the power of titties
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
