It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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