I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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