i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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