don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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