does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
