why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
