I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
You ruined the universe
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
