hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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