Pants 0. Shit 1.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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