Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
