My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
