"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
