Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize