So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This is the high leading the old right now
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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