I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
