is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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