i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Drunk is not a location!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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