Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
