I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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