3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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