We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
