I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
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