Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
