I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
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