bring money and cleavage
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
