Plan B is the new Plan A
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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