I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
