Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
