All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
