The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
