Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
