that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
