so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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