whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Randomize
