so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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