just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Randomize
